This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
