When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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