Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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