What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The best revenge is premature balding
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
