My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize