God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
