Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
