We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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