these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
