I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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