I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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