i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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