How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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