"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
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