just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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