I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
