I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
