I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
