Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
