When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
