hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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