But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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