I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
