drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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