But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
