I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
