I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
