enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't deserve a penis
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
