yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
