Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
