Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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