Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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