All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
