Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Less talking, more tequila
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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