i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
