Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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