we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
