Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize