it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
