I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
