I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
