He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
