Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
