it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
