fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
