Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
