Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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