too bad you live with your parents still
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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