How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize