Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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