honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
