He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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