I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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