His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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