I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
