we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
