last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize